


Goodbye Sherlock

by akichan1312



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Character Death, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2019-05-07 12:25:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14671053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akichan1312/pseuds/akichan1312
Summary: Sadly death is a temporary thing





	Goodbye Sherlock

Cheerlessly, John looked through the taxi's window. It was raining the entire day now which reflected  
his mood quite well. It's been three years now-exactly three years-since Sherlock died in the hospital.  
The sun had been shining on that day. John remembered how ironic he'd found that. But the almost  
unbearable sorrow was clouded by a far stronger feeling: guilt. Even though everybody told him that  
he couldn't have done anything to stop it, John still felt awfully guilty. After all it was him Sherlock  
sacrificed himself for. The detective caught the bullet that was meant for John. This was followed by  
two days of struggle for survival in the hospital but Sherlock didn't stand a chance. Exactly three  
years ago at 12 o'clock the doctors proclaimed him dead. For John, this was the end of the world. At  
the beginning, he didn't want to believe that his best friend was dead. For weeks he didn't even leave  
the house except for the funeral. But Sherlock stayed dead. This time, it was forever.  
For the last years John learned to live with the pain and the emptiness in his heart. Sometimes he  
even managed to be happy for a few moments. But now he was on his way to Sherlock's grave,  
exactly three years after he died, and the well-known sorrow overcame John.  
The taxi stopped; they arrived at the cemetery. Quietly, John gave the taxi driver his money and got  
out of the car. A look up confirmed what he already knew: rain clouds as far as the eye could see. But  
John didn't care if he got wet. Deep inside, his heart still bled.  
Slowly he walked over the cemetery to Sherlock's grave. Nobody else was here today. Somebody left  
flowers, probably Molly or Mrs Hudson. John never brought flowers. He knew that Sherlock wouldn't  
care about some dead plants on his grave.  
For a while John just stood there, once or twice a single tear running down his cheeks. He didn't even  
try to hold them back. He knew he wouldn't succeed. That was a fight he lost years ago. After a few  
minutes he started to talk.  
"Sherlock", he began, "I know it's been a while since I last visited you. Probably because I couldn't  
bear the pain. But today's your...your anniversary of death. You've been...gone for three years now. I  
think I can deal with it better now. Yesterday I had a job interview...in the hospital. I think I might get  
the job. Lestrade offered me a job as a coroner at the Scotland Yard but I don't know if I could survive  
all these pitiful looks the people would give me. However, if you were still here, you knew what I'm  
going to say now. Hell, I'm pretty sure you would roll your eyes, but I just have to say it." John  
breathed in deeply before he continued: "Please, I've got just one thing I wish for if you should still  
be alive: Let me know! Please! I..." John couldn't say more because he was shaken by sobs.  
He remembered the last time he thought Sherlock was dead after he jumped down the hospital roof.  
Back then, after the funeral he'd stood exactly at this place and prayed to Sherlock not to be dead.  
And then, two whole years after that, Sherlock had granted him that wish. Right before Sherlock had  
been shot, they had fought about this issue again. While John had waited for Sherlock to wake up  
from his coma, he cursed himself that he still hadn't forgiven Sherlock for what he did back then.  
As John thought about this, a well-known feeling of guilt overcame him again that poked his  
stomach. Even though he knew this pain better that anything else by now, it still hurt like the first  
time. He wondered if it was ever going to get better. Probably not.  
From time to time, John thought that he couldn't bear this pain anymore, even thought about ending  
his life. But it was those moments when he remembered how Sherlock died saving his life and that  
his best friend would have died for nothing. John had to live and be it just so that Sherlock's death

wasn't meaningless. So John lived on. All that was left for him were a few friends and his sister,  
Harry.  
When Mary died, his life had broken into pieces. But at least back then, he still got Sherlock, who  
caught him and helped him back up; who cared about him when he was so full of sorrow that he  
didn't leave his room for days. John never had the chance to thank his best friend for pulling him up  
that deep, dark hole he fell down. Another reason why the guilt troubled him so much.  
So John stood there for a while at Sherlock's grave grieving. Grieving over his best friend, maybe even  
more than that; the man who saved his life more than just once, nevertheless he never made it easy  
for him. But John didn't care. Sherlock's death was the worst thing that the detective could have  
done to him. Rain ran down John's cheeks and maybe, just maybe, some tears joined.  
John didn't know how long he stood there at Sherlock's grave. By now he was soaked wet so he  
decided that it was time to go home. Back to his daily routine, back to life. "Goodbye, Sherlock", he  
said, "See you next year" With these words he turned his back at the gravestone and left the  
cemetery.


End file.
